Valentine's. What a Joke..

For some reason I woke up on Valentine's Day excited.

So full of hope that I was wide open and almost happy.

I woke up, got the kids ready and off to school, and then I waited.

I put on my beautiful swing music and sang all of the songs I knew. I danced, I drank coffee, I drank tea, and I waited.

For whatever reason I knew you were coming that day.

I cannot explain it any other way than I KNEW without a doubt that you were coming to me that day.

You were going to come with sunflowers, tell me you love me, and we would dance to Billie Holiday..

I did my hair.

My makeup was flawless.

I thought for the first time in months that I looked pretty.

I was so happy.

I baked heart shaped cookies for the kids.

It was the first thing I baked since you left.

They were delicious and pretty- sweet, but not too sweet. Enough to know you were eating a cookie.

While I was baking the doorbell rang and I almost threw up because I was so nervous.

I went to the door and opened it and there was a package as tall as my hip... With Laurels name on it.

Aj had sent her chocolates. She made a special order so they would be delivered on time even while she was in a different state..

But I didn't cry, because I knew you were coming and I just had to wait.

The kids came home,we had dinner they went to bed, mom went out, and I waited.

I cleaned the kitchen.

At 12:56 I begged God that something would happen..

I stood by the door for 4 minutes, then went up and took a shower...

Then I put on Jurassic Park and cried myself to sleep.